The Promises Made to the Children

Earlier this evening, I was engaged in two separate intriguing conversations - one with my roommate about a plethora of gospel principles, which stemmed from a conversation with another friend of mine about situations in her life at the present time.

The first conversation was in relation to her feeling down about some of the decisions she had made in relation to her affiliations with members of the opposite sex. She had expressed her desire to have a relationship in which there was emotional attachment between herself and another guy, but at the same time be able to have all of her deepest physical desires not only satisfied, but continually met on demand. While that is a high demand for many individuals regardless of who is involved, her stance on things caused me to engage in a train of thought in which I came to the conclusion of many things.

The subsequent conversation with my roommate was not only enjoyable, but it also seemed to confirm many of the things I had been pondering, while at the same time "tying up loose ends" that seemingly did not have any connection to them in any form. The crux of our conversation was centered around the simplicity of the gospel and its relation to everything within it. There is not one thing in the Lord's word that does not relate to another, nor does it leave anything unanswered -- if we humble our hearts and focus our minds to understand the simplicity of it.

Now, some may argue that if the gospel is so simple, that the focusing of our minds is overkill and wholly unnecessary. To them, I rebuke them and suggest to them that they are confounded by the "philosophies of men mingled with scripture." Why? Think about those times in which we receive the most Spiritual guidance in our lives - such as during Church meetings or while pondering things in the temple. These are times in our lives when most of the world around us is blocked off and our minds are at rest and at ease. Similarly, the gospel is most easily understood when we have a relaxed mind and countenance that we can grasp that understanding.

To my friend who has the desires of both emotional closeness and physical closeness in her heart, I would say that her inability to obtain such is not necessarily in the decisions she makes concerning who she associates with, but rather her own personal decisions and utter lack of self-mastery. Though she may want to, she cannot even blame her lack of success on God himself, because her current predicament is completely the result of her opposition to God and her lack of understanding of His nature and inflexibility within the bounds of eternal law.

In Doctrine and Covenants 82:10 we are reminded: I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say way; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise. The use of the word promise is very curious in and of itself. In our day and age, when we say someone has promise, it means that they have potential. I do not believe that this is what the Lord is referring to however. Instead, He is referring to the fact that our disobedience to His command disqualifies us from the claim we may have upon Him for specific blessings to be fulfilled.

A number of commandments come to mind when thinking about this, most specifically the Word of Wisdom, the Law of Tithing, and The Law of Chastity, but the one I would like to focus on most at this time is the Law of Chastity.

Throughout the scriptures we are taught that the God is not only unchanging and unyielding to the changes of the world - because of His eternal nature - but that His house is a house of order. As such, we have been prescribed certain standards according to which we must abide by in order to lay claim to the blessings of obedience to those standards. Such is especially true as it relates to the Law of Chastity and marriage.

The Lord has mandated that we save all sexual relations for the time in which we are legally and lawfully wedded to another of the opposite sex and not before then. The prevalent argument among society is that its "just sex" or that its "fun" and such commandments are old-fashioned and outdated. As with the case of most of society's norms - its wrong.

The psychological physics of a relationship do not allow a solid, foundational relationship built on correct principles to occur with both emotional ties and sexual bonding are subsequently taking place. To attempt to do both at once, is to establish a weak foundation and alter the intended approach of that relationship. The psychology of a physical relationship is such that it creates feelings of well-being and emotional security - whether those feelings are foundationally present or not! Thus, a sexual relationship that takes place while emotional ties are weak or non-existent leads to feelings of confusion, and weakens one's ability to correctly rationalize right and wrong. A false feeling of love may be felt and emotional attachment may be present - but it may be attachment to the wrong thing.

One of the main causes of divorce in this country and across the world is because of the rapidity in which couples engage in physical relations at the beginning of a relationship. This rush into physicality produces those feelings which may suggest to a couple that the perpetuation of such is sufficient to establish a marriage on. Then once the honeymoon is over - both literally and figuratively - the couple realizes that they are incompatible for one reason or another, or that their relationship is not built on a strong enough foundation of faith, trust, respect, and wholesome values - but rather rests alone in the throes of promiscuity.

I believe this is why the Lord commands that couples abstain from sexual activity prior to marriage - so that He can ensure that full agency is present between the couple, and that deep emotional bonds may be established where the gospel can be an integral compass in the relationship and where God becomes the focal point for perpetuation of feeling rather than the temporary physical feelings that exist otherwise.

Thus, to abstain from such activity prior to marriage is not only God-pleasing in nature, but also brings with it a strengthened ability to master one's self and develop personal attributes that will serve one well later on during the creation and nurturing of a gospel-centered family. In addition, compliance with this commandment entitles the couple (and later on family) to lay claim upon the Lord's promise of blessings to them for their obedience. In this way, the Lord is able to maintain order while allowing the blessing of individuals and families accord to His promise.

In conclusion - to my friend, I would say to her that if she truly desires all of her physical needs to be met, then she must understand that they should be met at the appointed time by God and that she needs to master herself. No amount of physical interaction can substitute or fill emotional, spiritual, or mental void in one's life. Instead, by mastering yourself and allowing yourself to follow the order of God - it will allow you to build a strong emotional relationship with whomever you choose, and when that leads to marriage, your will find your physical desires adequately met and you'll find that you're a much more equipped individual to handle all the other struggles that life brings with it.

Those are more of my thoughts for the night! More to come tomorrow!